What does it really mean to honor the ‘Feminine’?

Honoring the feminine and putting her first in our life has very little to do with specifically honoring females and going out of our way to make women feel extra special.

The feminine aspect of God is in ALL THINGS and is not just limited to females. In fact, she’s female, male, gender-less, hermaphrodite and none-of-the-above. We may have labeled her a ‘her’ for the sake of reference, but in reality she’s pure creative intelligence.

There is a thought, especially within certain spiritual or tantric teachings, that you must put the ‘woman’ first as the way to connect with the Divine Feminine… you must listen to the ‘woman’s’ rhythm as the guiding spiritual force… you must bring the ‘woman’ to orgasm first if you want to taste the greatest bliss… you must make ‘her’ feel seen, heard and appreciated before anything good can come of your life… etc.

But all this thinking does is reinforce the disconnection or split from the true feminine principle or Divine Intelligence inside each one of us.

Yes it may be true that stereo-typically speaking women are more connected to the feminine aspect of God than men and that our planet can do with swinging the patriarchal lead the other way for a while, but this does not mean that men are to split from their own inner guidance system and worship the Goddess ‘out there’ in female form…

Of course it is better to love, respect and adore women than to shame, abuse and use them – which goes without saying – but we must practice not making it about the physical form, because when we do we just create another religion by worshiping something outside of our self.

What it means for those of us who want to connect with the Divine Feminine more in our body and life, is we must learn to get out of our own way and allow this feminine intelligence to purify and re-educate our cells on what it is like to live from a place of pure expansion and self-love. This means being willing to surrender to ‘her’ waves of truth, guidance and power as she comes through healthy connected channels… in other words, those who have gone through deep transformation and/or have a strong connection to her, whether this happens to be man, woman, child, beast or tree!

The art is first recognizing how the feminine really feels and then having the courage to surrender to her all the way. Usually, when she’s making herself known and taking charge of our body, mind and life, we will know she’s present because we will feel groundless, terrified and completely out of control (until we get into alignment with her that is).

Her juicy, yummy, kundalini energy will unlock and push out in the open all of the old control frameworks, limitations, deadness and fears that we have taken on through our family, religions and cultural belief systems. She will hit our cells like a giant tsunami, demolishing everything in her wake that is not the highest vibration of love, passion, gratitude and power. At first our body won’t know what to do with her other than feel pure fear and terror… but after the tide recedes and her work is done, all we will feel is the freedom, expansion, juiciness and profound self-love of who we really are… and we will realize that the fear we were feeling all along was actually her passion and excitement in disguise!

And yeah, sometimes we feel this presence around a woman, and it’s important to surrender to this female form as the vehicle through which we are surrendering to the Divine Feminine in that particular moment, but ultimately it is not about the form. (My spirit had me surrender to the Divine Feminine coming through a man as my main teacher for years, which perfectly unlocked a whole host of old judgment and paranoia that the feminine could only clean out of me through a male form).

Ultimately, the feminine we are surrendering to is a powerful intelligent force of expanding energy which can come through any form. But when we forget this and make the person the source (like Jesus for example!), we end up externalizing our Divine Feminine which results in dependency, need and more pain and drama. We define around the other, become stuck in some fairy tale fantasy of what God should look like, get frozen in time and space and never end up realizing who or what we really are.

As a conscious and connected woman I am not interested in any man or woman putting me first before their own relationship with the Divine moving through them. To my inner feminine this is blasphemy… AND a turn off! Maybe once upon a time when I was very numb and needy did my body feel turned on by this brief moment of wishful, delusional thinking, but having consciously (and often reluctantly!) moved through many layers of abandonment, terror and separation throughout the years, all I now feel is the confusion, emptiness and resentment that exists underneath this thinking.

The only thing I’m interested in are my partners listening to the very same pulse of energy that I am tuned into within myself. When we are all listening to this intelligent life-force and allowing it to be in charge, then it can come through, take over and choreograph a divine experience for all involved. But when one or more have split from this place and are making it about the other out of need, then someone at some point will end up pissed off and turned off.

The Divine Feminine is in ALL things. She is the intuitive, intelligent, brilliant life-force Tao that pulsates through all of creation. She is inside of me and all around me and I connect with her when I take the time to listen to my center… and to the intuitive, psychic imprints of thought and feeling that bubble up and through me all day long… and to the deepest, most true and honest feelings that I feel in any given situation. This is how I find and connect with her INSIDE OF ME.


Jennifer Millar © copyright 2016. All rights reserved.