Holding Loneliness Up To The Light


“Everything that is not love, is not real, and by working consciously with the universe I have the power to transform my negative emotions.”

It is wise to sit face-to-face with our loneliness (or any other negative feeling) from a place of non-judgment and compassion, otherwise this feeling can consume our life-force like a hungry ghost. 

If we set a little time aside, everyday, to intentionally sit with Spirit (in stillness, dialogue or meditation), turning toward our inner demons rather than away, we effectively invite the wisdom of the universe into the heart of our pain so that we’re no longer dealing with it alone. 

My understanding is that we’re not supposed to face anything alone - even loneliness - or emptiness, deadness, disconnection, shame, fear, etc. Each of these feelings are separations from the truth of how we really feel toward the universe inside of us - which is love, connection and gratitude. Our work is to bring the density of these feelings back to the light by recognizing their illusory nature.

When we hold the truth that only love is real and all of these other contracted, fear-based feelings are the heavy cloaks that cover this truth, (generational, cultural, epigenetic cloaks inherited and accumulated along the way), then we stand a better chance at detaching ourselves from the stronghold of our loneliness which is desperately trying to convince us of just how powerful and pervasive it really is. 

Depending on the severity of our condition, sitting with Spirit may not bring permanent relief right away, but that’s not necessarily the point. The point is to sit down with our greatest pain and the universe, side-by-side, as often as we can, to learn the art of observer consciousness and divine alchemy. 

  • Observer Consciousness - the art of watching our illusory feelings from a distance within our own psyche, whilst at the same time feeling those feelings in all of their intensity.

    This is not the same as dissociation because we are not splitting away from our negative feelings. Instead we are choosing to feel them fully with the awareness that they are not real. Or as Tibetan teacher, Tsoknyi Rinpoche coined: “Real but Not True.”

    By affirming the truth that everything we’re feeling that is not love, is not real, we can therefore hold these negative feelings ‘out in the open’, or ‘up to the universe’ to be transformed.

    It’s like creating a psychological state where we choose to align with a belief system rooted in love, ie; love itself - rather than unconsciously aligning with belief systems that teach us to fear, hurt and abandon ourselves - (those beliefs that most of us absorbed growing up). By changing our mental perspective this enables us to regain control of our thoughts and emotions because we get to choose whether to align with love or fear:


    Everything that is not love, is not real, and by working consciously with the universe I have the power to transform my negative emotions.”


    “These heavy feelings are real, all-consuming and more powerful than me. I’m at the mercy of whenever they want to take over my life - not the other way around.

  • Divine Alchemy - Once we move into observer consciousness, we create the necessary space for the light to get in and transform the illusion. But we have to call on the light. The next step therefore, is to ask the universe, out loud where possible, to shine light on the illusory feeling that we’re holding out in the open. For example…

    “Great Spirit, everything I’m feeling right now that is not love and expansion, is not real. Even though it hurts like hell and has been with me for decades, it is NOT REAL.

    My job is to feel the pain of this loneliness in all of its glory and your job is to transform it. I ask that you please unlock and intensify this core feeling from every cell of my body - bring it out into the open and shine light through it...”

Then we give the universe time to do as we have asked. Whether it’s five minutes or an hour, we empty our mind, hold the energetic doors wide open and find a resting place in our loneliness - allowing ourself to go into the scariest place while continuing to dialogue with the universe;

“Great Spirit, I bring this loneliness back to you. Every time I have ever felt alone, I bring the memories back to you and ask that you transform them into love.”

It is our job is to feel our feelings, ask the divine for help, empty our mind and choose TRUST, all the while holding Spirit’s hands as we walk through the heavy layers. Even if we don’t feel much at first, the key is to take the time, as often as we can, to include Spirit in cleaning out the many layers of pain that pass through our body and life. Doing this keeps a portal open to powerful healing energies that consistently work in the background (and sometimes foreground) of our life, cleaning out the cobwebs of our past. Over time, we get lighter, clearer and stronger, falling more and more in love with the divine intelligence that is resurrecting us from the inside out. 

Jennifer Millar © copyright 2018. All rights reserved.