How to awaken the power in your dantian?

(part 4 of a 4-part series)

Reading Time: 5 minutes

*The following is in no particular order and is a very brief summary. If you want more hands-on structure I suggest attending a Cellular Transformation Workshop*

1. Remove yourself from the environment you’re suffering within.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” (Alexander Den Heijer)

For me this was leaving the country I grew up in. That’s a gigantic step I know, and absolutely not a necessity for all, but in my case, it was the only option.

At 21 years old I moved to Sedona, AZ to live and study with my teacher for six months which instantly changed the epigenetic communication taking place with the world around me. It was the leap I needed to create space for the fear-based patterns of my birth culture to expand out in the open.

Sometimes, we need to shake up the status quo of our programming by hitting it with a curve ball. Stepping out of our familiar energetic holding pattern is almost always enough to loosen its grip and begin the unraveling process.

What might this look like for you?

• Take a break away from your present reality, even if it’s hard and all of your responsibilities are screaming not to. Visit a friend in another country - rent a cabin in the woods for a month by yourself - take a sabbatical from work - go do a retreat where you dive into your pain patterns with the goal of transforming them. Be sure to pick something that requires courage. ***It must take courage otherwise it’s not an edge, it’s a comfort zone, and pain loves comfort zones.*** Do yourself a favor and get off the hamster wheel by doing something you’ve never done before that is both terrifying and exciting. You know exactly what this is - your inner guidance has already been telling you. It’s the little voice you’re hearing right now that you probably don’t want to hear because it scares the shit out of you! Go there and LEAP...... then observe what happens to your energy field before, during, and after. And when you’re done, allow a brief period of integration then LEAP AGAIN.

• Quit your job if it’s killing you on the inside.

• Leave your life-draining relationship(s) and face the fear of doing it alone.

And remember...

“You are a petri dish with 50 trillion cells in it. Put it in a good environment and you will grow... put it in a bad environment and you will not.” (Dr. Bruce Lipton)

2. Commit to healing and working with the intelligence of the universe.

For me personally, this was doing as many workshops and sessions as I could within my chosen healing modality. This particular modality brought through transmissions of energy that supported the cellular purification process.

In my case, these transmissions were coming through a teacher who had already gone through this purification within himself. The wisdom of these energies unraveled fear-based cellular memories from my body over an approximate sixteen-year period of deep study and practice, constantly taking me to my personal edge.

What might this look like for you?

• Find and work with teachers, healers, therapists, and mentors with whom you experience deep healing and change.

• Experiment with various plant medicines in a safe, controlled (and legal!) environment with a reputable shaman or guide (please research the guide extensively beforehand).

• Partake in reputable retreats that offer things such as; vipassana meditation, therapeutic group process, men’s-only wilderness excursions, yoga, tantric/sexual healing, etc.

• Train in Yoga, Qigong, Tai Chi, or martial arts.

• Train to become a therapist or coach, deliberately taking yourself through the therapeutic healing process as part of your educational journey.

Once you find the right healing source(s), aim to be your bravest, most open, vulnerable, and honest self until you’ve unraveled enough pain patterns to where you feel your power center waking up.

3. Learn the language of energy.

The language of energy is how the universe communicates to us through the expansion and contraction of energy. I began the process of hearing and interpreting this intuitive information by recognizing that my body is a tuning fork, designed to pick up and feel the frequencies of the energy field I’m in.

What might this look like for you?

• When someone is talking, listen to the energy behind or beneath their words. Is it expanding or contracting you? Is the place they’re communicating from giving you energy or depleting your energy? See if you can read what this deeper communication is saying. Does it match what they are expressing with their words? If not, how do you feel as they’re talking? Observe what is happening in your body and emotions. If you feel contracted or uncomfortable, figure out a way to communicate your experience with them to free up your energy and truth.

• Trust your intuition and face your fear of backing it up - this means taking action to get out of painful situations. Learn how to say “no” to who or what disrespects and deadens you. Learn how to say “yes” to who and what expands, connects, and deepens you.

• Take in feedback from people you trust. Surrender your will and listen with your dantian. Imagine there is a big ear down there and use this ear to hear what is truly being said at the energetic level. What unconscious behavior might they be pointing out in you? What is the universe saying through them? Listen to the deeper communication behind their words and receive them in that place. Feel what they’re saying, don’t just think about it. Silence your mind and imagine your dantian is the end of a vacuum cleaner, sucking in the energy coming from and through the dantian of the person talking to you. Give time for the transmission of energy behind the words to come across from dantian to dantian - Greater Mind to Greater Mind. This is where real communication takes place.

• Learn to apologize when it’s hard to do so.

• Learn to receive where it’s hard to do so.

• Build an intimate relationship with Greater Mind in your center: talk to it every day - ask it questions - follow its guidance - listen for its cues - place your hands on it - go for walks with it (check out: https://www.jennifermillar.org/daily-practice-connecting-to-your-center-dantian)

4. Practice spirit-based or tantric sexuality where possible.

This is where I unlocked and transformed a majority of my demons. For almost sixteen years I engaged three other conscious souls in a tantra/spirit-based polyamorous relationship. We each used this arena to unravel patterns of fear and separation from our core. To say that I/we faced fear is an understatement. To say that I/we reached heightened states of samadhi, is also an understatement. This was an über powerful pressure cooker that worked with kundalini energy to transform foundational patterns. I overcame lifelong addictions, physical pains, emotional saboteurs and so much more within this arena. I also unearthed things that are yet to be resolved.

I am absolutely not stating that polyamory is the only way to accomplish these means. Far from it. This was just my way. There are as many tantric paths as there are people. The transformative element fundamentally lies in listening to the energy and focusing on spirit as the source of pleasure and connection. It is the art of getting out of the way during sex and allowing the universe to come through and orchestrate the unfolding in a manner that heals the body and deepens the connection to yourself, each other, and the universe.

What might this look like for you?

• If you don’t already, aim to have threesomes with yourself, your partner, and spirit! What this ultimately means is to drop out of your mind so that you can connect with the language of energy during intimacy. Begin by lying on your back side-by-side and placing your hands on your own dantian. Then let go of any goals or agendas and breathe/center yourselves for ten minutes or so. You want to do this until you both sense the energy stirring and moving you toward each other, naturally and effortlessly.

• Aim to be honest and transparent by sharing what is making you feel vulnerable, shy, scared, worried, or uncomfortable. Do this at any stage of the connection where you feel yourself leaving your body or you sense the pressure to perform or push the flow. Don’t be afraid to say “slow down” or “can we pause for just a minute or two until I feel the connection again”, or, “I think maybe we’re done... I don’t feel the connection anymore.”

• Let go of the need to orgasm and the need to please your partner and instead focus on what the energy is asking you to do in the moment - how does it want you to move? If you listen to and follow the waves of energy and allow this intelligence to be in charge, both (or all) parties involved will feel deeply satisfied. You are not in charge, the energy is. Aim to ride the waves of connection as they rise and fall rather than pushing your own agenda onto the experience. Listen to the energy first and foremost. Surrender when it asks you to - step up when it asks you to.

• Observe when you don’t listen to the energy during sex and are instead performing over the top of your real feelings. Are you avoiding or controlling your shame, fear, truth or vulnerability? Are you trying to impress the other rather than listen to the energy? Is it mostly stimulation based? Are you afraid to speak up for fear of rejection or an unpleasant reaction? Observe your patterns and aim to share your observations and feelings with your partner. If your partner has proven it unsafe for you to share, then you should not be having sex with them.

• When you’re finished, take time to center into spirit again before parting ways or falling asleep. I usually lie on my back with one hand on my center and the other on my heart. I thank my partner and then I say out loud or to myself, “thank you for this beautiful experience, Great Spirit. I attach all of these orgasmic feelings to you.”